The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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