used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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