I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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