Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
