YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
