are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
