sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
