why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
