Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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