So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
