you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
