He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just invented taco cereal.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
