Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
