cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize