you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
