So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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