8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
