I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We are all done wearing pants today
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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