is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We need to feng shui this bitch.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
