you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
