Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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