you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
