my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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