god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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