there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
