your parents love me but you hate me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
