Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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