this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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