note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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