i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
