So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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