Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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