I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
