No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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