Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
