just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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