Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize