He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
