Is it normal to miss your booty call?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Randomize