Sry I called you an 8
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
