Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
