I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
