we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You have to summon your inner elephant
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
