IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize