WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize