im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They took my balls.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We smell like vodka and hangover
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