Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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