Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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