my vag is so smooth its legendary
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
