Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
