I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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