I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize