i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
