you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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