beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
