Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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