Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
