We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
