The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
