why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
