He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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