I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
