Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
