what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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