His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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