just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
