There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
