when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
