do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
