I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
