just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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