Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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