So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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