They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize