Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Randomize
