just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Even my vagina gasped.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
