What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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