Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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