1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
